Resentments are feelings of anger, indignation or injury, often unexpressed, about events which happened in the past. We relive the hurt again and again in the present. We keep fresh in our minds the painful words that were said to us or actions that were done to us, and our hurt grows out of proportion. The source of the hurt may no longer exist or may be unaware of the damage that was done, but we continue to nurture it so that it grows and flourishes and consumes our thoughts.

We hold on to the hurt. We feel sorry for ourselves. We may wish harm to the person and hope that they will come to realize deeply they have hurt us and damaged our lives. We may even play out d scenarios in our imaginations of how we could get even with them. We pay no heed to the harm we do ourselves in thinking this way. We spend hours of our days thinking about the past rather than making today better. When we harbor a resentment, we become the slave of the person we resent. We do not want to be the slave of anyone, least of all the person we resent. When we begin to be aware of what we are doing to ourselves and learn through the Emotions Anonymous (EA) program to ask our Higher Power for help and guidance, resentment begins to lose its power over us.

Letting go of resentments is not easy and takes time. We may not want to admit, even to ourselves, that we have these deep-rooted feelings. On the other hand, there may be a certain amount 'of satisfaction for us in being angry and feeling self-pity. As we learn to be more honest with ourselves, we can see just how destructive these feelings are to our peace of mind.

The key to releasing resentments is forgiveness. But how can we forgive someone or something that has hurt us so terribly? How can we just let go of the pain that has been with us a long time and has ruined so much of our lives and that was inflicted on us when we were so vulnerable and our self-esteem so low?

this is the partial pamphlet available in full at www.emotionsanonymous.org

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